know when it's time to breath

when you want something bad enough
you hold your breath, for it to come
No matter how long it takes
When it's something, as strong as love
you think you've finally found "the one"
nomatter how much your heart aches
Nothing gives you closure,
nothing would bring relief
nothing to wreck a thought so pure
she's yours, nothing changes your belief.
But once you see, and realize
that she herself has found her own
Now so hard for you to visualize
your own future, quite alone.
I get my closure
Now what to do?
although it's torture
I've found the truth
Now all I must do is aprehend
Try to remember how to breath again
the  moment all the truth is shown
I feel I've lost something..
but I know it can't be
because there's no loosing something
that was never my own

so much shit been happening this past week.  I had so  much good things to say from last weekend, and now I just can't be excited about them, but here we go.

Last weekend was madd fun.  Friday, Donovan's bday bonfire, where Joey, for 20 bucks, jumped 100% fully clothed into the harbor, shoes n' all.. then while drying his clothes, for another 30 bucks, ran bare assed in the parking lot full of people we don't know.  So it was a fun night. until One Tyme came and gave Don and France tickets for having their cars up on the grass, and all the bikers for parking on the sidewalk. 

Saturday, we went to Club Silk, a club inside the pachanga casino in Temecula.  That place friggin' rocks.  Better than any club I've been in San Diego.  Really nice people, girls actually pull u to the floor.  That's hella fun.  xept for the drive back at 2AM.

Sunday was just insane.  Small group of people, riding..  As I'd thought.  We then met up w/ Kavi n' the guys, and that was fun..  I tried to get into a stunt move, then I saw kavi pull a wheelie right beside me.. then I realize he had a camera crew right beside him..  and I was like "aww fuk naw I ain't goin look like a lil' idiot in a video."  so I get back on the bike and kick back.. hahah..  Then we got to "The Spot," where Warren Jamez (Old blink182 drummer, owner of Famous Stars and Straps clothing co., and world class Stunt bike rider.), Team Famous, Team Outermost (from out of state,), Tek1, and other riders, along w/ 3 production companies were filming stunt DVDs there.  Kavi jacked the personal hydraulic lift, and put the camera man on it, and jacked him up 40 ft. in the air for the sickest camera view ever.  just awesome.

____________________________

along the week, I've been going through some serious shit.  Just insanely crazy things all happening at one time, and I really can't handle it.  But I try.. and that's the best I can do.  Try not to drive me crazy, and try to cope, and try to get my shit straight. . . .  The worst feeling on earth, is when for the first time, I have no choice in what's going to happen, and I have no idea what to do. . .  Fuk it..  Suddenly, FTS just doesn't work..

so I guess I"m back here again.  In the old xanga site.  back to contemplations.  So many things happen.  I'm so tired of things going.  I know it takes great pain to achieve the ultimate pleasure.  But man.  This is just so awkward.  Tryin' to carve hard now, and still not seeing results.  I need to get going, I can't stay here for another 2 years.  I'd set goals for myself, but just feel bad cuz I know it's almost hard to actually meet them.  we'll see